Theodore: Seducing Korean Immigrants With His Dashing Good Looks

Ran into Jay Park, an acquaintance from high school yesterday with Victor. Despite being Korean, he is working in a Japanese restaurant. I had forgotten he goes to Umass. We talked for a bit and he brought up something that has designated in my mind for some reason. That being that despite liking Americans, he only really sees Koreans these days. I don't get why this seems to happen but its something relatively common on campus. There really aren't very many multiracial couples or groups. I really don't get why Asian kids keep to themselves so much. I've heard its because they feel more comfortable with their own culture, but isn't America a blending of cultures? At college especially, shouldn't they be trying to expand their horizons?

Of course, they never will try to do that. They'll stay in their comfy little world of broken English and bubble tea and probably will marry another Korean and have adorable children that will disappointed them horribly when they perform averagely in high school and run off with a large black man named Theodore. He'll look exactly like this:




And there I go again, completely destroying any valid point I may or may not have had.

Speaking of awesome Asians, Christina is coming this weekend to finish up filming. Then we will party. Hardy.

Heroes Season 3 Starts

The season premier of Heroes was almost entirely what I expected. It was very enjoyable. The thing that put it over the top for me was a two second cameo by Dave Anders, the guy who plays Adam Monroe, villain of season 2 and by far my favorite character. He has no lines and just sort of smirks during a dream sequence in which all the heroes are dead. This gives me great expectations, those basically being that Adam will have a part in this season in one way or another.

Adam was pretty much the only good part of season 2. He's essentially a fallen hero, originally seeking money and fame in feudal Japan as a mercenary. Upon discovering his power (not being able to die) and with the assistance of the time warped Hiro, he becomes a great legend, the name of which I am blanking on. His motivation, outside of the obvious fame and fortune, is to also win the heart of the Japanese princess (or something like that) Yaeko, whom Hiro has taken an eye for as well (admittedly, he tries to restrain himself.) While its not exactly a big focus, Adam really does love Yaeko quite a bit.

Together, Adam and Hiro start doing tasks that will make Adam a legend in the future. Everything looks good, until Yaeko fucks everything up. While Adam really hasn't done anything wrong other than maybe being white, Yaeko decides she isn't really feeling Adam and makes a move on Hiro. After Hiro saves her from an explosion, she starts making out with him. Adam, who was worried they were dead finds them, and promptly overreacts, betraying his allies and capturing Hiro and Yaeko. Everything leads up to a borderline suicidal Adam and a reasonably upset Hiro duking it out.



This is what the fight looked like:




Annoyingly, Hiro wins. He has an emotional, poorly written goodbye scene with Yaeko which was probably intended to be romantic but was just boring and made me even angrier that Adam hadn't beheaded Hiro. After this, he returns to the future, where Adam, still alive and looking good, promptly kills his father, George Takai. Vengeful and embittered by his lost love, Adam attempts to destroy humanity via a virus. Hiro stops him, and since he can't just decapitate him, buries him alive, where he will die then reanimate for all eternity. Apparently, ruining his never-ending life once was not enough for Hiro.

The thing that really peeves me about all this is that Adam really didn't seem that evil. The transformation was all very sudden and even in the present day, he seemed like a pretty nice guy, if you take out his justified anger at the human race. If Hiro just hadn't messed up so badly none of that stuff would have happened and yet Hiro is played off to be this amazing self sacrificing legend who gave up the love of his life out of nobility. Neither was in the right, but Hiro was treated way too well in this case whereas Adam got a shaft of epic proportion. I get why Adam is pissed. Hiro deserved some kind of retribution for his actions. Whether he meant to or not Hiro seduced Yaeko, technically another man's woman and then Adam is somehow played off as in the wrong just because he got mad about it? Bullshit.

I hope Adam gives Hiro his comeuppance.

I imagine it like this:

Hiro comes back from France to get batteries for his magical tracking device. When he enters his office, he hears grunting noises from his spiny chair. Hiro says "Who's there?"

The chair slowly spins to face him. Hiro's sister is completely naked and is riding the pantless Adam, who simply says "Hello Carp... Looks like we're even now".

He then explains that he punched through the coffin and dug his way to freedom, ala Kill Bill Part 2. He also decides to become a good guy and joins the Bennett/Sylar team of awesome and sexy.

Yep... That's what's gonna happen.


Ah, knowing my luck he'll be dug up and freed only to die in a humiliating fashion and I will once again have cursed a well written character by declaring him to be my favorite.

Freaking Awesome Phone Call

I spoke to Rob today for the first time since he left for boot camp nine weeks ago. He sounded good. His advanced training (or specialized... I don't actually remember which it is called) just started and as a result, he has time to do things like buy a cell phone.

He's been made a platoon leader so his voice was kind of shot from yelling at his subordinates. We talked for about an hour. He's developed a bit of a potty mouth (something he actually apologized for) which is really funny. See last winter, we were at his house and for whatever reason (I think I opened the door while he was using the toilet) Steve Pell decided to spray tooth paste all over me. It would have been hilarious if I hadn't had a leather jacket on. Leather and Crest don't mix well. Naturally, I start swearing my brains out and yelling at everyone in sight because I am the least subtle angry person ever. Rob got mad at me about swearing in his house, so I cussed him out too. I cooled off about twenty minutes later and apologized to everyone (minus Steve) but Rob was still a little ticked off about my language.

I counted 19 F bombs in one minute from him, today. Bravo, Robbikins, bravo.

We should probably drop that nick name when he comes back to something a bit more appropriate. Like Godzilla, or Badass McKillguy. Or maybe he'll just forever be Little Robbikins. That nickname was only ever really fitting one time. Steve, Rob and myself decided to go on a little car trip to Rhode Island the day before I returned to school last spring break. We left at around 9 PM. Around midnight, we stopped for gas. Steve noted that Robert was asleep in the back seat. Upon further investigation, we discovered he was using this sailor doll I kept in the back of my car as a pillow and had tucked his arms into his sweatshirt. He looked like he was 5 years old. It was quite the sight. We got out and filled up the car. Then we rocked it a bit, but Rob didn't wake up till we got to Denny's for a late night dinner an hour later.

Anyway, he comes back in 13 weeks. I cannot wait.

Eddie Watches V for Vendetta, Gets Annoyed

I watched V for Vendetta the other night. It was around midnight and my roommate was snoring and I couldn't sleep so I figured "why not?" I mean it was a birthday present and I hadn't seen it since it came out.

Upon viewing it, I remembered: This is quite possibly the single most overrated shitfest of a movie ever made.

The setting is a surprisingly dull Britain in the near future, where random sleazy British people will try to arrest/rape you if you are out late and masked men will save you before blowing up historically landmarks with to the beat of some classical tunes. Sounds great, right? Wrong. The characters were so annoying and self righteous that by the end, I was actually thinking how great it would be if the evil government won. I wanted both Natalie Portman and Hugo Weaving to die painfully by the end of it. Sadly, only Weaving did. Did I spoil that for you? Too bad. Its not worth watching. The graphic novel wasn't that good either, but it wasn't as full of itself as this garbage. I think the overall message was that we shouldn't let the government take over every aspect of our freedom and that if we do nothing and let fear rule our lives, the world will turn to shit. Or something like that, I kind of just made that up on the spot as I was too busy trying to figure out how so many people enjoyed this porcupine diarrhea of a movie.

The only redeeming factor was the subplot with the badass detective. The whole movie should have just been him solving mysteries and fucking hot chicks. That would have been ten out of ten stars. But nope. They have to have a blatant 1984 ripoff where a douche bag with a speech impediment and a Guy Fawkes mask runs around with knives acting like a giant condescending prick while occasionally fencing with an empty suit of armor or frying eggs.

His courtship of Natalie Portman was awkward as hell to watch, too. So let me get this straight: He's a fearless, renegade government experiment that spent years and years in a prison where he was made test subject to God knows what kind of torture. Not only that, he's public enemy number one of a tyrannical, relentless government of shadows and evil and has been known to single handedly beat the ever loving crap out of security forces and take over tv stations, yet somehow, somehow, he doesn't have the balls to make a legitimet romantic move on the blundering and bumbling woman whose life he saved multiple times? Is he a badass or a giant pussy? Make up your mind writers, he can't be blowing up government buildings one day then struggling to confess his feelings the next. Not even Peter Parker is that inconsistent.

V is one fucked up dude. He saves Evey (Portman) from the evil cops who just killed her portly, gay tv host friend who made fun of their leader on his show, only to imprision her in his basement where he shaves her head, starves her, tortures her, and worst of all makes her read from some crazy lesbians diary (as someone who has been forced to read numerous lesbian Livejournals I can assure you that this is beyond cruel and unusual punishment). When he finally gets bored of this, he lets the poor girl go, making up some half-assed excuse about how he needed to be sure she was ready (for what?), then gets upset when she (very reasonably) storms out of his house, after dramitically getting very wet in the rain. This part was a little confusing. I wasn't actually sure how much time had passed in between the uninspired and way over the top "God is in the Rain" bit and her actually leaving. She's suddenly dry and in a decent set of clothes, but her hair is still shaved and she still looks starved. No excuse there but poor direction.

I think I figured out my problem with this movie. All of the alleged "good guys" are boring assholes that you can't help but root against. And the ones that aren't (the Detective and the portly gay guy) are either pushed to the side or flat out killed.

I remember seeing the trailer and thinking "This movie is going to fucking rock". It made it look like the entire movie was going to be nothing but fight scenes and explosions. Three fights in the entire movie. THREE! And it was well over two hours. That means they showed the majority of the action in the trailer. And they weren't even that good. Fuck you James McTeigue.

The ending was lame as shit as well. It starts off well enough. V kills a bunch of government officials including the president after making some speech about how ideas are bulletproof. This confused me a little bit. V was clearly saying that he is an idea. Going by that logic he shouldn't have been hurt by the bullets. Fortunately, he is full of shit and staggers off to his death after being riddled with them. He would've died sooner, but he was wearing a metal plate underneath his shirt (ala Back to the Future 3). V dies and I start thinking "Well this might not be that terrible." I am sorely mistaken. Evey confesses her love to the dying V and decides to carry out his final wishes: blow up a historical landmark out of spite. The man kept her in his basement for literally months where he starved her and repeatedly tortured her, and now she's in love with him? This is clearly a case of Stockholm syndrome. Its is by no means romantic in anyway. The woman has a clear psychological condition and needs help.

Meanwhile, the detective, who has been doing his job this entire time (unlike apparently everyone else in this movie... Seriously, there is a terrorist planning on blowing up a major government building in London. Where the fuck is James Bond?) and actually manages to figure out V the Douche's plan. He beats Evey, who had tried to resist arrest, into submission and stops the train full of explosions, saving the city countless money and manpower which was used to help its citizens instead. He was then allowed to retire, which he did as one of the most highly decorated police officers in London's history. Evey is then raped and killed in prison by an irate inmate. "Don't Stop Believing" plays through the credits.

Just kidding. That would have been awesome and possibly redeemed the entire movie. Here's what really happens.

The detective finds Evey, but is driven to insanity after taking one look at her shaven head and allows her to follow through with the plan. That is the only explanation for this decision. He had been a good, hardworking man that would never ever let an anarchist prick and his brainwashed pet blow up a historical landmark. He was awesome and Sinhead O'Portman should have died.

I hate this movie.

2/10 stars


Pros: The Detective was fucking cool. Too bad he was only there for maybe a quarter of the movie.
Cons: Everything else.

Eddie Reflects On Sobriety: Why I Am A Shitty Drunk

Remember right before you left for college how you thought it was going to be like that movie Animal House? Nothing but booze and toga parties and hot naked chicks with big titties? Then you got to school and either spent the first two weeks treating it like that before realizing your grades were shit and you had to get your act together, or you found out that its fucking difficult to meet new people when your a self conscious little bitch and found yourself practically crying yourself to sleep at night wondering why God cursed you with an anti-social personality.

For me it was something of a mix. I went to a college on the other side of the states and knew virtually no one. So I did what an other reasonably insecure, sexually frustrated seventeen year old would do: I drank to extremes and had ridiculous, awe inducing adventures. For better or for worse, however, that was only on the weekend. During the week, I studied, went to classes, occasionally ate, maybe played some gamecube here and there, but for the most part I was completely isolated. As soon as Friday hit, I'd find a party, get fucked up, maybe make out with a normally unattractive girl twice my size and wake up the next morning with a headache, inflamed joints, and for some reason a feeling of deep, deep satisfaction. I was living. Or at least I thought I was, which in reality is just as good.

The rest is history. I don't want to bore you with the unattractive details, but for a while I seriously thought the stuff was arsenic.

It was probably for the best too. I didn't need the stuff anymore. I had my shit together. I had my 3.48 gpa. I had a Borders bookstore with the entire Dragonball collection. I spent the rest of the year chilling out there.

Since then I've more or less gotten over my fear of the booze. I'm at a different college too, one much closer to home. I've been here for about a week and a half. The campus is large and poorly designed. My room is tiny. My classes are kind of shitty. The weather makes the room humid and impossible to sleep in. In short, it kind of sucks.

I feel the urge. The urge to just go nuts or whatever. Does that read bad? I bet it does. My friends for the most part don't drink. The ones that do are hesitant toward inviting me to join them due to my er... drunken behavior which for whatever reason scares them despite my insistence that I am an extremely charming drunk. This behavior includes but is not limited to, picking fights with inanimate objects, picking fights with people, picking fights with animals, crying and screaming, vomiting profusely on anything that dares get in my path, chasing rabbits in hope of eating them, hooking up with fat chicks, hooking up with hot chicks, hooking up with my hand in a public place***. The list goes one. Actually, I can see why they wouldn't want to drink with me and I'm fine with it. I'm a dangerous drunk.

Still, I'm bored as shit here. I love my friends but one can only play super smash brothers so long before you get wistful for that Halloween where you made out with that hot Chinese batgirl, or the time you nearly got date-raped by an amazon-like giant.

True story.



***- This list is obviously an exaggeration, but you get the point.

Pothead's Have Zero Logic

My friend told me to read a facebook note by a mutual acquaintance that I will refer to as "Dipshit". It is appropriately entitled "Stupid". It would be less painful to masturbate with sandpaper than read it again, but alas I must sacrifice my own well being to warn the general public. Also, to vent. Jesus Christ people, if the majority believes the same crap as this idiot, man will definately be the cause of their own destruction.

The Note
http://www.facebook.com/note.php?note_id=9941264787
(It has since been taken down)


To be perfectly honest, I think there is a legitimate case for legalizing weed, but it is not the one this guy makes. I swear to god, skinning my own penis makes more sense than this shit.

First off, the asshole compares banning marijuana to Jim Crow laws... Yes, you heard me right.

"Think of the Jim crow laws, back when slavery was legal. It seems childish now to think our society at one point was so convinced that african american slavery should be enforced that laws were made and cops enforced them."

Ummm... Correct me if I'm wrong but weren't Jim Crow laws after the Civil War, specifically from 1876-1965? Yes. Yes they were. Slavery was not "legal" at that point, dumbass. These laws, which varied from not being able to interracially marry to blacks not being allowed to sit in the front on buses were all primarily in the south. Wyoming is about as high North as they got. This means that they weren't federal laws. In fact many states didn't have any. Now every state has their own policies on pot, but it is universally illegal.

Also, don't be so harsh on cops just because they arrested you. If there's a law they HAVE to enforce it. Its part of their job. They can't just be like "Well you are selling drugs, but you know I think its okay to so I'm just going to let you go".

Dipshit goes on to say:

"Yup, thats what they thought back then, the way things are must be the right ways. This world where you can get arrested for doing harm to none other then yourself. This world where you can go to jail for your beleifs and doing what you feel is right."

You know, Dipshit some people kill small children because they think God told them to. Are you suggesting that's okay? I guess you're right, people shouldn't go to jail if they kill kids, I mean come on, they thought it was the right thing to do!

Dipshit keeps writing:

"What right does a government have to control what one does to ones self as long as it effects none others?""

Yeah, smoking pot does affect other people, actually. Now if you're a complete orphan and no one cares about you (wouldn't surprise me if Dipshit fit this category) I can see how this would make sense, but unfortunately it does affect anybody you come into contact with. One of my cousins smokes a lot of pot. Whenever I see him, he's always acting like a complete retard and while he seems happy, I have to cope with this for whatever period of time I'm stuck with him. Its actually pretty annoying.

Now he starts talking about alcohol:

"Alcohol is a drug which claims many lives, and has a much more drastic effect then marijuana. Imagine a world where alcohol would be illegal and marijuana legal, sounds ridiculous and stupid doesn't it? A world where if your caught with a beer in your house you could be thrown into a lockup, yet you could smoke a joint on the street, sounds ridiculous doesn't it?"

That happened from 1919 to 1933. It was called Prohibition and it kind of sucked and was eventually repealed.

Moving on...

"If you smoke a joint are you likely to beat up your wife? No... Crash your car? nope... Fall asleep? Maybe... Kill less brain cells then alcohol... Yes! Maybe banging your head against a wall should be illegal, its hurting yourself! maybe you should not be allowed to do it in public, perhaps police officers should arrest you for it, the two should not be any different according to the govt. Why is alcohol legal? Because the majority uses it!"

Actually, smoking pot does impair your driving as its a lot more difficult to focus. And it kills plenty of brain cells as well as damaging your lungs. Seriously, three cannabis cigarettes a day do the same amount of damage to the lungs as 20 or more tobacco cigarettes a day... Just throwing it out there. And by the way, banging your head against the wall isn't illegal because common sense dictates against doing it. Still, if someone were loudly and publicly smashing their head in, they'd probably get taken away at some point. Also, alchohol is only truly damaging in excess. A glass of wine isn't going to hurt anyone, hell its allegedly good for you. It takes way less pot to fuck you up.

Finally, Dipshit closes with this:

"Am i honestly the only one whom sees the insanity of to days society? This is only an example of one of the many insanities of it. I don't beleive people should go to jail for hurting themselves, it is honestly a crime against humanity. If anything send them to a psychologist if its actually a problem."


I'm sure all your pothead friends will read this and tell you how brilliant you are because it supports what they do and believe. They'll tell you how smart you are and how fucked up society is and bitch about it for a while.

That doesn't change the fact that people should get arrested for hurting themselves. A single mother with three young kids shouldn't be smoking up just because they're stressed out. Think about how fucked up their kids will be. A middle-upper class suburban kid SHOULD get arrested if he's caught with weed just for being stupid enough to get caught.