Why Avatar Left A Bad Taste In My Mouth

A few nights ago, I saw James Cameron's new ridiculously hyped-up sci-fi flick "Avatar". I liked the action and the special effect were phenomenal but the plot was bad. Really bad. So was the dialog and the entire cast was either dull or annoying, except for the main antagonist who was this colonel with a giant robot battle suit (this was exactly as cool as it sounds). The best part of the movie involved him and pretty much only him. I am going to describe that part now. If you didn't see it you will have no idea what the fuck I am talking about, rendering this whole review kind of pointless. Too bad.

Anyway the badass, "evil" colonel is in this super plane and the asshole protagonist blows it up. Does this stop the colonel from being awesome? Hell no! He gets into his robot suit (while on fire) and leaps out of the plane as everything around him is exploding and/or bursting into flames. Then he kills a giant panther with a knife. Holy shit, it was so cool!

The rest of the movie was ruined by its pseudo-environmentalist ideals and vague morals for instance, its okay to kill humans because they are stealing things from the indigenous 15 foot tall blue people that inhabit the planet. What the movie doesn't do is stop to consider why the humans are trying to get this stuff in the first place. The thing they are taking is a rock called "Unobtanium". No, I am not making this up. They never really explain what the rock does, but because the Earth is apparently dying and because the humans seem ridiculously hell-bent on getting it no matter what gets in their way, I am going to assume is does at least one of the follow three things.

Possibility #1- Unobtainium cures cancer or some other really bad disease.
Possibility #2- Unobtainium is necessary for deep space travel.
Possibility #3- Unobtainium can allow them to see into the future.

All of these seem fairly reasonable, especially if the earth is dying and they need help. According to the movie, however, since they are oppressing other people they are evil and deserve nothing but death. That's fair enough, I suppose. I mean, the humans did kind of destroy their home. Then again, the business man in charge of the humans there had a pretty good point. He says "Well there are a lot of trees on the planet. Why can't they move somewhere else?"

Actually, this argument makes a lot of sense. Sure, its a huge pain in the ass to switch homes but since the Earth is dying and needs this Unobtanium to survive, shouldn't it be the right thing to do? Indirectly, aren't the Blue People killing the human race by not letting them have it? If its okay for them to kill humans in defense of their own land/moon, shouldn't it be just as acceptable for the humans to steal the poorly named rock to save theirs?

Also, the Blue people probably should have told the humans why they couldn't move. I mean, they had a legit reason (something about being able to access the memories of their ancestors through their giant tree house) but they never even tried to present this to the humans. Maybe it wouldn't have made a difference but it would have been a helluva lot more diplomatic than just refusing any communication with them or shooting arrows at everything that moves. The badass colonel had a badass scar on his head that was given to him on the first day on Pandora (that's the moon they are on). Maybe he wouldn't be so set on destroying them if they hadn't messed up his head.

On a completely different note, I'm really sick of movies like this. I know I should have enjoyed it a lot more than I did because it looked absolutely gorgeous and the action scenes were spectacular. If it wasn't for the massive guilt trip plotline, I'm sure I would have.

Every so often, a movie like this comes out. A lot of people said that its main weakness was its predictability and that is the reason why. Dances With Wolves was like it only with Kevin Costner and the Native Americans. Fergully was basically the same movie only it was a cartoon. Same with Pocahontas though at least the fact that Mel Gibson voiced the good guy in a movie that preaches tolerance for others makes it hilarious years later. The Last Samurai was like this too. Tom Cruise gets captured by the Japanese, decides white people suck by comparison, and decides to fight for them. It’s happened a million times and I'm sick of it.

As a white person, I can honestly say that I get it. We have done horrible things in the past. There was that whole thing with colonizing America and beating the crap out of the Native Americans. That was awful. There was also slavery. That was just as bad. But honestly, at least in America it hasn't been so bad that betraying your culture should be displayed as such a heroic gesture. Near the end of Avatar, the badass colonel asks the douchey main character "How does it feel to betray your own species" and the main guy responds with a snarl, as if this is a ridiculous question and obviously he is doing the righteous thing. It was actually a pretty legitimate question.

How does that feel? I wonder if he bothered considering the family he left back home. He didn't really seem like a socially awkward guy so he obviously had friends. The beginning of the movie made it very clear he had a brother. He probably had a mom and dad too; maybe even other siblings. I seriously think that was a good question. How does it feel to turn your back on everyone you have ever cared about (minus the sexy new blue chick that's been giving you sweet loving every night)? I would be pretty pissed if I knew him, especially since his mission was to theoretically aid in the saving of Earth (and the human race by proxy).

Imagine the situation was flipped around. What if one of the aliens decided that they really liked humans and decided to sell out their people for them. They would be considered treacherous scum. Or how about if instead of Tom Cruise becoming an honorary samurai, Ken Watenabe decided he really liked white people and was sick of the samurai way and became a GI Joe (or their equivalent as I am pretty sure they didn't exist at that time)? He'd be looked down on by pretty much every Asian (or at least Japanese) person with any sense of racial pride. Somehow, though, its common knowledge that if you betray a white person, you are doing the noble thing.

I am really sick of this trend. While we may have a laundry list of terrible things that we've done, its not like other races are guilt free. There was that whole "Rape of Nanking" thing that the Japanese pulled on the Chinese during world war II. According to my 9th grade World History class (which while taught by white people, I am pretty sure is at least somewhat accurate) African tribes were pretty brutal to outsiders, some going as far as eating their enemies after killing them (the superstition was that they would gain their knowledge from doing so. Is it bad that I think this is kind of a badass concept). I could probably name more, but that would be a waste of time. The point is that everyone; White, Black, Asian, Latino or any other lesser known race that I forgot fuck up. They all do really, really, really bad things to other people. Race has nothing to do with this. This shit's happened throughout all of human history.

Its cool to think that white people are the source of everything wrong in the world nowadays. I mean, America is still considered the most powerful nation in the world and despite the fact that we have a very black looking leader, the image of America is that we are run by power hungry white bureaucrats (eight years of Dick Cheney did not help this painting). I wonder if this will be the case in the future. In fifty years, when the population is a Latino majority will it still be okay to label whites as the problem race? Will America even still be number one in the world? Perhaps China will be the ones in charge.

You know, what's weird about all of this is that the treatment of white people isn't really that bad despite all my bitching. Yeah, I find it annoying but in comparison to the Native Americans, it isn't even remotely offensive. I think its pretty obvious that the Blue People were supposed to represent the Native Americans (if you haven't figured out why yet, you never will). In real life, the Europeans succeeded where the Humans in Avatar failed. They took over America and made it what it is today for better or worse. The Blue People were never beaten. Nature took their side (don't ask) and beat the ever-loving crap out of humanity. If the Native Americans had nature on their side they would have won, apparently. Guess they just weren't cool enough... Have fun at your casinos! Were the Native Americans really that obsessed with nature? I feel like given the opportunity, they probably would have used more guns instead of their traditional bows and arrows or whatever. I have these green army men-like Native American toys. Like half of them have guns. Colonial era guns are superior firearms to bows and arrows when you're not worried about reload time or stealth.
Technology:1 Nature:0

With of this aside, I still don't feel any guilt over slavery and what happened to the Native Americans. Most of my relatives were too busy being discriminated against for their religious beliefs back in Europe to worry about that sort of thing. Also, it would be ridiculously counter productive. It would be like if I as a person with Jewish blood still held a grudge against the Germans over the Holocaust; completely fucking stupid. So here’s the deal, James Cameron or whoever in Hollywood feels like making a movie like this. Stop. It’s the opposite of progressive. All you are doing is reminding people of shit that happened hundreds of years ago. We are past it. Most people know that what happened was (and still is) wrong and the ones who don’t aren’t going to be convinced otherwise by an action movie with giant robots and a dragon with racing stripes.

Things That I Have Gotten For The Holidays: 2009 Edition

-Shakira: She-Wolf

Honestly, Shakira is loads better in Spanish. I know she's a sex symbol but hearing her sing about all the guys she likes to bang really over-shadows just how pretty her voice is and how catchy the beats are and not in a good way. Even so, Loba and Gypsy are really good songs.

-Norah Jones: The Fall

I fucking love Nora Jones. I know that's weird for a guy to say but her voice is gorgeous and the songs themselves are incredibly relaxing.

-Lady Gaga: The Fame

Lady Gaga is batshit insane and I love her. Actually, this cd is a lot better than I thought it would be. She never really takes herself seriously and the beats are consistently catchy. Hell, her voice isn't even that bad. Good for you, crazy lady!

-The Killers: Live From Royal Albert Hall

I saw the Killers live last September and they were awesome. So is this cd though I have not actually watched the dvd yet.

-Resident Evil: The Darkside Chronicles

Man does this game kickass. Its a huge upgrade from its precursor The Umbrella Chronicles, which while fun still kind of sucked donkey balls. It also probably has the best graphics you're ever gonna see on the wii which is pretty kick-ass.

-Cowboy Bebop: Collectors Edition

This is a really good show. Can't really say much more about it. If you haven't seen it, you're missing out.

-A Warm, Green Sweater

Very warm, surprisingly comfortable.

-Heroes of Might and Magic 3: Complete

Alright, so this is this old computer game from like 2002 that I used to play all the time with my Dad. From what I have gathered, the premise is that you lead an army of humans and monsters in epic wars with each other. Sometimes you use magic (unless you are a Barbarian because Barbarians suck at magic. This is okay though because they are really good at Might). Anyway, the games a total blast and I had lost my copy of it so this was actually really exciting.

-Socks and Underwear

Much better than it sounds. Doing laundry sucks.

-2 Free Movie tickets

Apparently, the second one is for a date. I luled.

-Watchmen (DVD)

Its apparently the special edition. I hope to God this means there's a feature revealing the science behind the physics engine for Doctor Manhattan's penis.

-Empire Earth: Good Edition

I'm like 95 percent sure that my dad just kind of found this lying on the floor in his store and decided to wrap it. Kind of confusing game. Age of Empires is much better.

December First

Having a real major and the actual workload that comes with it makes a semester go by a helluva lot faster. It also leaves no time to update this thing.

Everyone Doing Something Is No Excuse For Being Retarded

The single worst thing you can tell someone in an attempt to comfort them is “everyone does it”. How the hell is that supposed to make me feel better. Aren’t you not supposed to listen to peer pressure? So I can listen to it when I fuck up but if everyone is smoking or drinking or taking turns on that one 14 year chick who’s too plastered to say no (and seriously, she’s pretty hot), I suddenly have to stop? That’s retarded.

I always feel like a retard when I hear that. I’m not using the word as a euphemism, I actually mean that I feel like a mentally handicapped person when someone tells me “Its alright. Everyone does it.” It should’ve been avoidable then. Its like when lemmings (nature’s retards) follow each other off a cliff. You’d think at least one of them would think “wait, that will kill me. I should stop”. If everyone does it, it should be incredibly apparent and therefore avoidable. But no, you always get that stupid monatomic “Everyone does it therefore its okay”.

That logic is just dumb, just dumb. Just fucking dumb. Its like something Forrest Gump or Billy Bob Thorton would say. Individuality is supposed to help separate us from the communists right? So why do we conveniently forget this in the case of a massive fuck-up. The theme song for that kids tv show “Arthur” actually says that “believing in yourself is the place to start”. This is conveniently forgotten if you accidentally run over a squirrel or shoot your dog with a crossbow or something. You know, cause everyone does it. So its okay.

Promotion

The 2b in my screen name is for second base, which is the position I played for literally all of little league. That's 3 seasons a year from 5th grade till Fall of 11th grade. 16 seasons of playing 2nd base.

Then I got to Connie Mack League and was stuck in right field. Until now.

Guess who just won the second base job for the playoffs?

Ending Chapters

Writing back story is really fucking hard if you've never put any thought into said past. Maybe I should wait on it?

Nah...

...

...

Shit...


Is it fall yet?

Eddie Goes To An Anime Convention, Meets A Giant Tool. Mild Hilarity Ensues.

Have you ever met someone you just plain didn't like? I have, the case and point being someone that I stayed with for a few days with a group of people in a hotel. This was at an anime convention. The guy was cos-playing as Tuxedo Mask from Sailor Moon.

A female friend of mine (cos-playing as Kiki from Kiki's Delivery Service) invited me to stay with her and six other people she knew from school. I was initially only planning on going one day but then she implied that there would be gratuitous amounts of alcohol and I started imagining spending four days completely shit-faced and surrounded by Otakus and I could not just let that opportunity slip away.

Despite not really knowing any of them, I actually liked most of the people I was staying with. It was just this guy, this one Tuxedo-Mask-Dressing Douche that nearly ruined the stay for me by being a giant gaping black hole of a cunt. The first night, there was fairly little drinking. We played a bunch of drinking games but not enough to get anyone dangerously fucked up, or even anything more than heavily buzzed. Tuxedo Mask had been fairly quiet up until this point but after about an hour of playing Kings he started talking. For some reason every time he opened his mouth I wanted to kick him in the larynx. Actual quote:

"We drink to release our true selves, our true feelings: Who we really are."

If I were a pregnant woman, I'd have just miscarried.

He also kept making really awkward passes at Kiki, highlighted by him grabbing her, throwing her onto the bed, strateling her and then covering her face with with a pillow.

I didn't despise him at this point. I just kind of thought he was sort of annoying. I was more tired (or drunk) than I thought I was and ended up going to sleep on the bed.

I woke up at 3:30 and rolled to my left to see two people sleeping on the bed as well: Tuxedo Mask was on the far left and Kiki was in between. Kiki was also awake. And staring at me. She whispered at me:

Kiki: You still up?

Me: Yeah... Wanna go for a walk or something.

Kiki: No... I just am so excited about tomorrow.

Me: Yeah...

I rolled over to my side to attempt to fall asleep again. Five minutes later, I was poke in the shoulder.

Kiki: You asleep?

Me: No.

Kiki: Wanna go for a walk?

We got up and quietly got our shoes on. The other five people were sleeping all over the floor on either sleeping bags or air mattresses. When we opened the door, I noticed Tuxedo Mask was still up and glaring at me. We went into the hotel lobby and just kind of hung out for a few minutes before going back up to the room. When we got back to the bed, I noticed that my pillow was gone. Thinking quickly, I grabbed the one I had brought from home and went back to sleep.

One of the guys I was staying with told me that as soon as we left, Tuxedo Mask grabbed my pillow and through it across the room. I brought this up with Kiki later on. She said he had a crush on her and was probably just jealous of the fact that we were close (by comparison). I thought this was stupid at the time but in retrospect it was actually probably true.

Anyway, I spent the next few days trying to avoid him and have a good time and not be sober but unfortunately, as well as being a giant mucas covered tampon, Tuxedo Mask was also over 21. For whatever reason, he decided to stop buying other people booze. My plan of being intoxicated the entire time foiled, I made an attempt to enjoy the convention.

There were two problems with this Plan B:

1. I don't watch very much anime- Naruto, Evangelion, Trigun, Cowboy Bebop, Dragonball Z. That is the limit of my anime experience. Makes it kind of hard to appreciate the stuff when you don't know what most of it is.

2. I wasn't cos-playing- Nearly everyone I was staying with was but I was far too lazy to get a costume together. After all, I was supposed to be drunk the entire time. What would the point of wearing a costume be? I'd just ruin it. Unfortunately, there were a lot of activities that informally required one. This limited my options.

The first full day there was awful because of this. I did nothing worth mentioning. I went swimming in the hotel pool and hung out with the less toolish people in the room but for the most part it sucked.

At night, everyone staying in the room went out for dinner together at a very nice Japanese restaurant. I was sitting next to him, not by choice, and asked what he was getting. He looked at me like I was crazy for a few seconds, flashed his menu at me for a split second and then closed it. Thus was my breaking point. It was a very simple, meaningless question. Maybe he thought the same thing, but come on. Someone asks you what you're getting at a restaurant, you tell them. Its not like I was asking about his family history or criminal record or anything. What kind of asshole reacts like that? At this point I decided that I hated his guts.

The third (and last) day, a friend of mine, cos-playing as Misa from Death Note, that I wasn't staying with was visiting, so I hung out with her and her friend for most of the day and when they left, I met up with Kiki (without Tuxedo Mask) and went to a hentai dubbing thing.

Later that night there was a dance. I had breifly gone into it with Misa but it was really lame. Anyway, after she left, and after I got back from the hentai dubbing thing (which was awesome and hilarious) most of the people I was staying with were not in the room. It was just me and one of guy there up in the room. I noticed a handle nearby one of the windows. I asked someone who's it was and he said it was his. I asked if I could have some and he said sure and seven shots later I was ready to head back out into the convention. Kiki came back from the dance and wanted to go to some anime-viewing-thing. I was ready for anything.

I don't really remember the next part. Kiki told me that I kept yelling at people in costumes and attempted to fight someone dressed as Boba Fett. Whatever. Shit happens when you drink, kids.

I do remember very clearly going to the bathroom that night and hearing someone in the stall next to me moaning loudly. Eventually he left and I was curious what he'd been doing in there and I went in to see the toilet seat covered in semen.

The next day I was ridiculously hung over. The angry kind. I wanted to punch Kiki in the face for making me put up with Tuxedo Mask for the last three days and I wanted to gut Tuxedo Mask and strangle him with his own intestines. Thankfully, these things pass.

Overall, I had a pretty decent time despite being sober for most of it. I don't think I'll ever stay for even one day over night after that though.

AAK 6 = Done

There's an arcade in Kimball's Farm now. Yep... Things happen around here... Totally.


I heard that song "Days Go By (And Still I Think of You) on the radio today. If I were better at this blogging thing I'd probably try to say it was symbolic of something but for the life of me I just can't think of anything it'd play that role for. I can't even think of a decent metaphor to use it with. I do wonder what ever happened to the break dancer from the music video, though. He was really cool.

Movies I have seen recently:

The League Of Extraordinary Gentlemen- Not a good movie, but worth watching for the lulz. Its always fun to see Sean Connery play himself.

Up- Probably the most depressing Pixar movie yet. Also, really good.

The Hangover- Really, really funny.

Terminator Salvation- I don't really remember what happened. There were robots, and Christian Bale yelling and probably violence but I don't really remember.

Fighting- Still the worst movie ever.

Star Trek- Much better than Fighting. Best thing I've seen since The Wrestler.

Summer Begins: 2009 Edition

Where to start:

-Got straight C+s this semester. Had a bit of a laugh at myself when I actually felt disappointed about this. My inner high schooler immediately slashed his wrists with a hacksaw.

-Sexually harassed a Domino's employee over the phone unintentionally. Hilarity ensued. They probably spit in the pizza.

-Grand Theft Auto IV: Entertaining when sober, Crack when drunk.

-Green Dick is still better than Blue Dick.

-Moving out took forever. Seriously, I was the last of my apartment to leave and they left all their cooking stuff behind so I have like 20 pots and 4 frying pans. What am I gonna do with 4 frying pans?

hmmmm...




Wishful thinking aside, its a lot of pots and pans.

-Anime Boston was good, bad and weird. Mostly weird. Don't think I'll do 4 days next year. Am questioning my geekiness.

-Gonna be cleaning up Dad's store for 150 dollars.

Yup... Jobs are that tough to find.

Black Lights and Lunatics

I went to a black-light party last night. I hadn’t heard of these until actually going so I will explain: A black-light party is pretty much a drunken pile of sweat, beer and sex combined with a black light and dance music. I was mildly drunk after the Celtics-Bulls game and my roommate Lloyd needed a wingman. It was either that or jerk off so I grabbed my coat, packed about six beers and left. It took about ten minutes to walk to the party. Nearly every car on the road had a drunk driver so I was pretty thankful.

We didn’t really want to pay. Usually at these parties, the host gives you a cup after you give them money and then they let you in. In an attempt to get around this, we had brought four or five cups with us, with the hope that two of them would match the ones they were giving out. This didn’t work at all.

The first thing I noticed was that it was pretty much impossible to see anyone’s facial features in the light. All that were really visible was if the person was wearing white which was consistently extremely illuminated by the black light. The music was loud and the room (which was the basement of an apartment building) smelled a lot like pot. People were dancing, but in the slutty, grinding/lap dancing kind of way. Literally it was like watching clothed porn.

The second thing I noticed was that there were no bathrooms and both me and my roommate had to go. Thinking quickly, we walked back up the stairs and took turns pissing in the corner of the hallway. Believe it or not this happened a few times. Beer really does goes right through you.

The girls were very difficult to talk to, partially because of the loud music and partially because they were generally bitchy. Lloyd and I talked in the back for a little while:

Lloyd: We’re at a disadvantage here.

Me: What do you mean?

Lloyd: We’re… Not tall. Look man, I depend on my features and all they can see is my height.

Me: Dude, you’re like the same height as me. We’re about average.

Lloyd: Yeah but they don’t want average. They’re not gonna go out of their way to talk to some averagely tall guys.

I decided to use our discussion as my “opener” for the night. For those of you that didn’t watch The Pick-Up Artist religiously when it was on VH1, an opener is a line you use to talk to a “set”. A set is a group of girls. I realize how toolish this sounds but as a wing-man this was my job. This was serious business. Really.

My opener was simple. “My friend and I were having a discussion. He’s saying that because we’re not like… Super tall, no one will talk to us. Do you think this is true?”

The success was mixed. Some girls talked to us, some didn’t. Most didn’t. I never claimed to be a good wing. We didn’t get very far till I was able to single out an especially pretty Algerian Girl from a group of six. She and Lloyd talked for a while and I attempted to distract her friends to little success. I kind of went in and out of their conversation, occasionally joining in before going back to her friends.

A few things I learned about her:

-She likes basketball
-She’s Muslim (but apparently doesn’t like Muslims)
-She likes her butt
-She thinks I look like Steve Carrell

It was kind of an A.D.D. conversation but it beat the Hell out of forcing conversation on her friends. You can only talk for so long about your major. They eventually pulled her away. It wouldn’t be the last time we saw her.

After this, I attempted to open a set of three girls, two blonds and a brunette that I will refer to as Lunatic.

Me: My friend and I were having a discussion. He’s saying that---

Lunatic: SHUT THE FUCK UP!!!!

Me: Whoa…

Lunatic: DOES THIS LOOK LIKE A FUCKING SURVEY!???? SHUT THE FUCK UP YOU FUCKING PIECE OF SHIT!!!!

Me: Uh… What?


I honestly wasn’t sure how to feel about this. I mean on one hand, she probably figured what my intentions were. But in all seriousness, who goes to a party like this one not expecting to be hit on? It’s not like I was grabbing her ass or grinding against her, or slipping a roofie into her drink, dragging her unconscious body to the bathroom and anally date raping her either. I walked away. Lloyd apparently agreed with me on the ridiculousness of her reaction and decided to tell her so, which led to this confrontation.



Lloyd: Hey. I really don’t appreciate the way you just yelled at my friend. I really think he deserves an apology.

Lunatic: WHO THE FUCK DO YOU THINK YOU ARE?! SHUT THE FUCK UP!? DON’T YOU FUCKING LOOK AT ME, DON’T YOU EVEN FUCKING THINK ABOUT LOOKING AT ME, I’LL FUCKING KILL YOU AND YOUR BOYFRIEND YOU FUCKING PIECE OF SHIT!!!!! I WILL FUCKING MOTHERFUCKING END YOU MOTHERFUCKER!!!!!!!

And with that, she tried to spill beer on him. Despite being less than a foot away from him, she missed, prompting Lloyd to throw his beer at her, which hit its mark.

Lunatic: YOU MOTHERFUCKING SHITFUCK! I WILL FUCKING KILL YOU! I WILL END YOU BITCH! I WILL END YOU FUCKING MOTHERFUCKER!



A white guy with very spiky hair stepped in between them as Lloyd and I yelled back at her. I may or may not have called her a Fuckboob.

Spiky: What the Hell is going on?

Lloyd: Nothing man. We didn’t do shit.

Spiky: *Turns and looks at Lunatic, apparently recognizing her* Oh… Yeah. Forget it.

Lloyd and I left and being that we were both drunk and horny, started talking about the Algerian girl. We were almost back to our apartment when we heard someone talking frantically on the phone talking about how she had no idea where she was. As fate would have it, it was the girl we were talking about.



Lloyd: Hey remember us? We met at the party. Algerian Girl: *Hangs up* Oh hey! I’m really pissed off right now cause some motherfucker said I was ugly.

Me: Are you alright?

Algerian Girl: No! No, I’m not okay! That small dicked motherfucker said I was ugly. I don’t want to sound pretentious or something but in all my days, no one… *Sob*… Has…*Sob*… Ever…*Sob*… Called me ugly!

Me: Uh…

Lloyd: Nah, nah, nah. You’re not ugly, you’re beautiful, girl.

Me: Yeah, the guy probably realized you were out of his like and was like “fuck, I’m just gonna diss her. Fuck that bitch”.

Algerian Girl: I used to be like 200 pounds. I lost 65 pounds to look like this. I’m going to find that motherfucker and fucking kill him and his small dick.

Me: Calm down.

Algerian Girl: I am calm.

Me and Lloyd: No you’re not.

Algerian Girl: No, I’m fine.

Me: Where do you live. I don’t feel comfortable with you walking around this late by yourself.

Algerian Girl: Wheeler (note: This is a dorm on my campus). Well I don’t actually live there but my boyfriend does.

Me: Okay. We’re gonna go there. Are you alright?

Algerian Girl: No don’t I don’t want him to see me with two guys. If I saw him with two girls, I’d fucking kill him.

Me: You have really nice teeth.

Algerian Girl: Thanks! I had braces in junior high. You guys are really nice. I feel like I should give you head or something. Only I don’t give head. But I give really good head, look how long my tongue is!

Lloyd: Pretty long.

Me: You should be in KISS.

Algerian Girl: I don’t mean to brag, but I ride a mean dick. But I don’t do that with guys unless I’m dating them.

Lloyd: You sure about that?

Algerian Girl: I’m horny like twenty four, seven. But I’m not that kind of girl. I don’t do stuff like that.

Me: Yeah. We got that.

Algerian Girl: You’re frustrated. I’m sorry I’m ruining your night. You’re so nice!

Me: It’s fine.

This came up a lot. That she was ruining our night and felt bad and wanted to give us head and if she wasn’t in a relationship she’d have blown both of us. I’m not sure if the implication was at the same time. It probably was. Whatever. Either me or Lloyd could have pushed the issue and gotten a three way or at least blow jobs. Algerian Girl was very pretty. She had nice teeth and a long tongue and big boobs and nice skin and a pretty face and shiny hair. She claimed to be stellar at sex and I believed her. She was drunk and horny. But for some reason we both came to the conclusion that she was too drunk. There is such a thing. We walked her back to her boyfriend’s dorm and that was the end of it. I doubt that we’ll ever see her again.

My thoughts on the matter are surprisingly certain. I’m glad nothing happened. I would have felt pretty terrible, especially if Lloyd and I wound up fighting over her. A three way would have been sweet, I guess, but only until I woke up and realized what had I'd just done. A greater man would have taken advantage of it, but greater men also hate themselves, and I would have.

When we got back to the dorm, I brushed my teeth and went to sleep.

Something hit me when I woke up and was sober. Algerian Girl had been with six other people when we ran into her at the party. They had stopped Lloyd from making a move on her but then when we ran into her later, she was completely on her own. What happened, I wondered. Lloyd said she was probably so drunk that she just kind of wandered off. That’s a pretty good guess and he’s probably right but it really makes me wonder: They were so hellbent on stopping Lloyd from talking with her yet they lost track of her and just kind of let her wander off drunk onto the outskirts of a college campus. I mean what seems more dangerous, talking to some random guy in a populated party, or wandering around drunk at one in the morning?

That was a rhetorical question.

We're Not Dead!!!!!!

We experienced a ridiculous delay for episode one which was supposed to be out February 22nd. I apologize for this.

Here is the rundown of what happened:

Me and Victor gave the soundtrack to our composer. He promised it'd be back within the week. This didn't happen. He promised it'd be done soon. This didn't happen. We gave up in early April. It will hopefully be out next week. We have someone reliable (Brooks Madden) scoring it now. Hopefully this goes better.

I swear we are not dead and have been hard at work at making this movie/mini-series as good as it can possibly be.

As usual, here are some screen caps. These are from episode 2.



Dan and Christina in a heated debate





Ryan and Delaney... Um... Yeah...




Dan doing something with his gun.

Boring Update

First track came in today from Brooks. The rest should be coming in from Lijian and we'll be done by the 22nd. Awesome.

I'm getting sick. Not awesome.

Episode 1 Will Be Released Soon

Episode one of Gorgon's Eye will be premiering on youtube February 22nd.
Finally.

In other news, I just discovered the Friday the 13th film series and my god is it hilarious!

Final Night

I just rewatched the episode of DBZ where Vegeta is killed by Freiza and I've really gotta say I wish he'd stayed dead, not because I dislike the character but because its the only real tear jerker in the entire series. Seriously, for the most part DBZ is just a fun (if slow paced) action shonen, but for about 10 minutes it becomes a surprisingly well done tragedy. Oh well.

Technically today, I will be heading back to Amherst. Break felt short. I didn't do a lot. I didn't want to.

Filming didn't go all according to plan. There's still some stuff to shoot but we can do most of it at school, which is good. The scenes we have done look nice so far, now its just a matter of polishing them.

I hung out with very few people during break. Sure, I saw everyone (except for Red Scare, sadly) but it wasn't like last year where I was out till 4 every other night. No, I was up that late most nights but I never really did much outside of video games and the usual mindless browsing. I suppose its the natural order of things. My dad said that happens. The "friends forever" thing is really "friends till we stop having things in common and have no reason to hang out anymore." The more I think about it the more I realize there were two things in common keeping "The Clique" (as its been Christened) together.

1) Necessity
2) Yu-Gi-Oh! cards

Neither of these things are relevant anymore.

I wonder how its gonna turn out. I should write more about the clique.

Its an interesting story.

Surviving Tedium: A Love Story

I haven't actually updated in over two weeks which is probably good because I like to keep myself busy. I have been doing the complete opposite this winter break, so you would think there would be at least a dozen posts, but for some reason I've been too lazy to even type outside of aim.

My days have fallen into a routine that plays out something like this:

1:00 PM- Wake up... Fucking phone/sun.
1:15- No seriously, I'm getting up/dressed.
1:30- Its never too late for breakfast. Wheaties time!
1:45- Check the email. Definitely no mindless browsing/internet porn/movie editing.
3:30- Ok maybe a little.
4:00- Let's see if anyone wants to watch a movie.
4:30- Fuck, no one's home.
6:30- I don't care what anyone says, Tom Cruise is a good actor.
7:00- Dinner!
8:00- Fuck, why is no one home?
10:00- People finally want to do stuff. Awesome.
10:30- Hello (insert friend here). What? Brawl? Yeah, awesome.
3:00 AM- Get out of my fucking house... Fine just one more round...
4:00- Bed time.


Occasionally you can replace some of those time slots with going out to see movies (on the actual big screen no less!), reading the horrible fan fiction of my friend Sam's ex-girlfriend, or going over to my neighbors house to... watch more movies... Yep. Quite the life style.

A break from the routine came about a week ago in the form of my girlfriend getting fed up with my bullshit and demanding we do something. This semi-vague something turned into going into Boston. That was a time that included most of the major goods. The art museum (boringly good), John Harvard's Pub (fatteningly good), Harvard Square (Surprisingly despite a surplus of hippies good) and lots of subway rides (awesomely good).

Its worth mentioning that I really like subway rides. All in all, it was a lot of fun and it will be good to see her again on a regular basis.


In movie news, we filmed a bunch outdoors and are really really almost done. We have even finally found a Wendy. Thank freaking god. The first episode is in production, though knowing our luck (and pacing) it probably won't be done till 2015.

Gorgon's Eye Update

Its been a while since I posted anything on this subject.

Here is a list of things that have kept me from doing so:

-Finals
-Vacation
-New Girlfriend
-Lazyness

That being said, there really wasn't much to talk about until recently.
I can now say, however that the long and strenuous editing process is fully underway. Rob vs Steve is completed (minus music and SFX), the first scene is done, and about 9 other scenes are done.

On Monday, we will start shooting the finale with Kevin, Dan, Steve, Victor and Myself. Shashank wants to show up and with any luck we can get Richie and Rob over for camera and choreography purposes. Once that is done we just need to Wendy stuff, as well as a reshoot of an early scene and a phone conversation with Dan. That's it. We are close, so very close to being done.

Happy New Year everyone.