I went to Mexico. There I:
-Got a leather jacket
-Went to a mummy museum (which was spooooooky)
-Ate a whole lot of steak
I will write more on this later when I have pictures and the attention span.
Other than that I:
-Learned my dad is a total badass. No seriously. He slipped on some ice behind his store very late at night. Upon landing he found that his ankle had swollen to ridiculous proportions and he could not put any weight on it. His cell phone had also been broken from the fall. It was pitch black and freezing cold. He could have been in legitimate danger but rather than just whimper in pain, or curl up in a ball and hope for someone to stumble upon him, he put his phone back together and called both 911 and my mother. Turned out he both dislocated and broke his ankle. Which leads me to my next bullet.
-Learned how to fry an egg (I am not kidding). I'd never actually done this before. Immediately after getting back from Mexico, my Mom left and I had to take care of my Dad till she came back. He is a fan of Salami and Eggs and grew tired of the steak or hamburgers I was making. I also baked a lot of Pillsbury chocolate chip cookies.
-Was involved in a horrifically stupid love triangle involving a girl I used to sort-of-but-not-really date and a probable alcoholic who has since gotten the nickname "Human Waterfall".
Alright this one might actually require some further explanation, so for those of you into drama and/or gossip, buckle your seat belts cause this shit is about to get... Well... Actually, its about to get kind of awkward.
I'm one of those people that doesn't really notice a problem until it can't be ignored. You know, a stereotypical American. My friend Waffle (I'm using a nickname because I think some of the few people that read this blog may actually know him) has a serious drinking problem. I did not realize this until he got drunk at a party and tried to pick fight with me over my lack of interest in talking about a girl that he is dating that I used to kind-of-be-in-a-relationship-only-not-really with (to simplify things greatly. Needless to say, I hadn't been on speaking terms with her for months at the time that this happened. Trust me, you don't want to hear about this).
Anyway, at some point he passed out with his shoes on so of course anyone who could get their hands on a writing utensil drew on him. He woke up a few hours later and then, 98 percent of his body covered in ink, proceeded to climb halfway up the stairs, pull out his junk, and start leaking everywhere.
Everywhere. It was kind of like that sprinkler your Mom would set up on the front lawn during the summer (possibly because you were too poor to have a pool) only instead of running through it, you were running away. This lasted for five minutes. People were counting. I'm not kidding. It was a spectacle. It was the longest piss in the history of modern man.
He went on to punch a friend of mine in the face a grand total of three times while trying to get to me. Said friend wouldn't let me (or anyone else there) retaliate because (and I quote) "He's too drunk to know any better." Waffle then attempted to steal someone's car to drive home. When this plan failed miserably due to an inability to turn a doorknob, he started crying, occasionally stopping to shoot death glares in my general direction. I left the room at this point because, let's face it, what the fuck are you supposed to do in a situation like that?
Eventually, the same friend that got hit in the face three times convinced me to talked to him. For some reason, probably guilt over him getting hit in the face, I complied. This was a really bad idea, though some really good lines came out of it. Some examples:
Waffle on Me and women: "Eddie, when I look at you I see a man who has been forsaken by women!"
Waffle responding to my indifference towards him sleeping with Girl-I-Sort-Of-Dated-But-Not-Really:
"All you care about it sex, Eddie! You don't know what real love is. But I do!"
Waffle on my relationship with Girl-I-Sort-Of-Dated-But-Not-Really:"She was really pissed when she realized you defriended her. Why can't you just admit that you still love her?!"
Waffle after I, realizing there was no other way out of the predicament, swallowed my pride, lied through my teeth, and said I was still in love with her (and was mad at him for "stealing her from me") and promised to "fucking kill him" if he ever did anything to hurt her:*ridiculously-uncomfortable-thirty-second-pause*
"That's all I needed to hear."
And then he walked into the garage and passed out. I have not seen him since, though I did get the single most forced apology ever from him two days later, essentially amounting to "I was drunk and don't remember what happened, therefore it didn't."
Moving on, I also:
-Turned 20
-Replayed the first disk of Final Fantasy VII
-Rediscovered the greatness of Oregon Trail
-Realized that it wasn't my Wii that was broken but the power cord for it
-Also realized how much of a pain in the ass it is to replace these
-Saw Avatar, Sherlock Holmes, Idiocracy, The Book of Eli, Twilight and New Moon. More to come on the last two.
-Started a book called Snow Falling On Cedars, which so far has a very unique plot and is extremely well-written but in one of those ways where it takes a long freaking time to read.
