Eddie Goes To An Anime Convention, Meets A Giant Tool. Mild Hilarity Ensues.

Have you ever met someone you just plain didn't like? I have, the case and point being someone that I stayed with for a few days with a group of people in a hotel. This was at an anime convention. The guy was cos-playing as Tuxedo Mask from Sailor Moon.

A female friend of mine (cos-playing as Kiki from Kiki's Delivery Service) invited me to stay with her and six other people she knew from school. I was initially only planning on going one day but then she implied that there would be gratuitous amounts of alcohol and I started imagining spending four days completely shit-faced and surrounded by Otakus and I could not just let that opportunity slip away.

Despite not really knowing any of them, I actually liked most of the people I was staying with. It was just this guy, this one Tuxedo-Mask-Dressing Douche that nearly ruined the stay for me by being a giant gaping black hole of a cunt. The first night, there was fairly little drinking. We played a bunch of drinking games but not enough to get anyone dangerously fucked up, or even anything more than heavily buzzed. Tuxedo Mask had been fairly quiet up until this point but after about an hour of playing Kings he started talking. For some reason every time he opened his mouth I wanted to kick him in the larynx. Actual quote:

"We drink to release our true selves, our true feelings: Who we really are."

If I were a pregnant woman, I'd have just miscarried.

He also kept making really awkward passes at Kiki, highlighted by him grabbing her, throwing her onto the bed, strateling her and then covering her face with with a pillow.

I didn't despise him at this point. I just kind of thought he was sort of annoying. I was more tired (or drunk) than I thought I was and ended up going to sleep on the bed.

I woke up at 3:30 and rolled to my left to see two people sleeping on the bed as well: Tuxedo Mask was on the far left and Kiki was in between. Kiki was also awake. And staring at me. She whispered at me:

Kiki: You still up?

Me: Yeah... Wanna go for a walk or something.

Kiki: No... I just am so excited about tomorrow.

Me: Yeah...

I rolled over to my side to attempt to fall asleep again. Five minutes later, I was poke in the shoulder.

Kiki: You asleep?

Me: No.

Kiki: Wanna go for a walk?

We got up and quietly got our shoes on. The other five people were sleeping all over the floor on either sleeping bags or air mattresses. When we opened the door, I noticed Tuxedo Mask was still up and glaring at me. We went into the hotel lobby and just kind of hung out for a few minutes before going back up to the room. When we got back to the bed, I noticed that my pillow was gone. Thinking quickly, I grabbed the one I had brought from home and went back to sleep.

One of the guys I was staying with told me that as soon as we left, Tuxedo Mask grabbed my pillow and through it across the room. I brought this up with Kiki later on. She said he had a crush on her and was probably just jealous of the fact that we were close (by comparison). I thought this was stupid at the time but in retrospect it was actually probably true.

Anyway, I spent the next few days trying to avoid him and have a good time and not be sober but unfortunately, as well as being a giant mucas covered tampon, Tuxedo Mask was also over 21. For whatever reason, he decided to stop buying other people booze. My plan of being intoxicated the entire time foiled, I made an attempt to enjoy the convention.

There were two problems with this Plan B:

1. I don't watch very much anime- Naruto, Evangelion, Trigun, Cowboy Bebop, Dragonball Z. That is the limit of my anime experience. Makes it kind of hard to appreciate the stuff when you don't know what most of it is.

2. I wasn't cos-playing- Nearly everyone I was staying with was but I was far too lazy to get a costume together. After all, I was supposed to be drunk the entire time. What would the point of wearing a costume be? I'd just ruin it. Unfortunately, there were a lot of activities that informally required one. This limited my options.

The first full day there was awful because of this. I did nothing worth mentioning. I went swimming in the hotel pool and hung out with the less toolish people in the room but for the most part it sucked.

At night, everyone staying in the room went out for dinner together at a very nice Japanese restaurant. I was sitting next to him, not by choice, and asked what he was getting. He looked at me like I was crazy for a few seconds, flashed his menu at me for a split second and then closed it. Thus was my breaking point. It was a very simple, meaningless question. Maybe he thought the same thing, but come on. Someone asks you what you're getting at a restaurant, you tell them. Its not like I was asking about his family history or criminal record or anything. What kind of asshole reacts like that? At this point I decided that I hated his guts.

The third (and last) day, a friend of mine, cos-playing as Misa from Death Note, that I wasn't staying with was visiting, so I hung out with her and her friend for most of the day and when they left, I met up with Kiki (without Tuxedo Mask) and went to a hentai dubbing thing.

Later that night there was a dance. I had breifly gone into it with Misa but it was really lame. Anyway, after she left, and after I got back from the hentai dubbing thing (which was awesome and hilarious) most of the people I was staying with were not in the room. It was just me and one of guy there up in the room. I noticed a handle nearby one of the windows. I asked someone who's it was and he said it was his. I asked if I could have some and he said sure and seven shots later I was ready to head back out into the convention. Kiki came back from the dance and wanted to go to some anime-viewing-thing. I was ready for anything.

I don't really remember the next part. Kiki told me that I kept yelling at people in costumes and attempted to fight someone dressed as Boba Fett. Whatever. Shit happens when you drink, kids.

I do remember very clearly going to the bathroom that night and hearing someone in the stall next to me moaning loudly. Eventually he left and I was curious what he'd been doing in there and I went in to see the toilet seat covered in semen.

The next day I was ridiculously hung over. The angry kind. I wanted to punch Kiki in the face for making me put up with Tuxedo Mask for the last three days and I wanted to gut Tuxedo Mask and strangle him with his own intestines. Thankfully, these things pass.

Overall, I had a pretty decent time despite being sober for most of it. I don't think I'll ever stay for even one day over night after that though.

AAK 6 = Done

There's an arcade in Kimball's Farm now. Yep... Things happen around here... Totally.


I heard that song "Days Go By (And Still I Think of You) on the radio today. If I were better at this blogging thing I'd probably try to say it was symbolic of something but for the life of me I just can't think of anything it'd play that role for. I can't even think of a decent metaphor to use it with. I do wonder what ever happened to the break dancer from the music video, though. He was really cool.

Movies I have seen recently:

The League Of Extraordinary Gentlemen- Not a good movie, but worth watching for the lulz. Its always fun to see Sean Connery play himself.

Up- Probably the most depressing Pixar movie yet. Also, really good.

The Hangover- Really, really funny.

Terminator Salvation- I don't really remember what happened. There were robots, and Christian Bale yelling and probably violence but I don't really remember.

Fighting- Still the worst movie ever.

Star Trek- Much better than Fighting. Best thing I've seen since The Wrestler.