A friend of mine that I haven’t seen in about 3 and a half years has a blog that I follow. Its not an especially good blog. His writing isn’t exceptional but I follow it because for two 4-week periods during the summers of my sophomore and junior years of high school, he was one of my best friends. We went to acting camp together and I can safely say that he is one of four people I still speak to. For me, bonds like that don’t break especially at a place like acting camp where several of the most important events of my “growing up” phase occurred. Nick is my friend whether I have seen him recently or not.
The girl in question is also quite possibly the worst woman I have ever heard of, including Enriqueta “The Vampire of Barcelona” Marti, a serial killer that bathed in the blood of her child victims.
To set the stage, Nick loves the ladies. A lot. As long as I’ve known him, he’s always been in pursuit of girls more attractive than himself. He’s not terrible looking, but there’s a very distinct birthmark on his face that I once tried to convince him was the result of him running into a burning building to save orphans and puppies. It makes him very unique looking. Mystery of The Pick-up Artist would say that this gives him an avatar of the unknown. I say it’s a little scary and a bit of a turn off, but I digress. He’s been pretty successful with girls in the past which definitely says something for his charm and charisma, even if he looks a little funny and is a bit of a douche. I remember him getting a mildly attractive girl named Jenn at the end of my last year at camp.
Apparently, Nick dated this girl named Liz for a few months and then they broke up. From the pictures I have seen, she resembles a bizarre cross between a grizzly bear, a sperm whale and a human. I have no idea what he saw in her. I think they tried to reconcile (or at least he did) and it didn’t work out, so Nick tried to get her out of his head. Then he found out she cheated on him the summer before, resulting in this post elegantly title “I Hate That Cunt”:
“Liz cheated on me. I hate her so fucking much. I don't care if she sees this. I hope she burns in hell and gets AIDS or an STD. She's going to end up as an alcholic, slut, who's kids hate her, and she'll live in a trailer and end up on Maurie seven times for each of her three kids. I hope she dies a horribly slow and painful death. FUCK YOU LIZ!!! I HATE YOU!!! “
Nick, like 96 percent of the blogging community finds it necessary to share the details of his romantic life in poorly spelt, low grammatical form. I mean, this is just petty. He’s obviously pissed and no one could possibly ever take this seriously. Apparently, I was wrong. On Liz’s blog she writes this response.
“So, my ex posted a blog because one of my friends told him that I cheated on him. And I have to say, this is true. He treated me like shit, and he was a horrible boyfriend. We were fighting almost all of the time, and I couldn't take it anymore. So I went to hangout with my friend Isaiah, and he charmed the pants off me, literally. Well, I got an e-mail from my mom this morning saying that Nick said some horrible things about me. If he was truely over me, it wouldn't have mattered much. The title is simplt put 'I Hate That Cunt':
So basically, that's all the dumbass had to say. I'm supposed to be upset? Hahahah, it's honestly hilarious. Lets see, where to begin. So I'm going to burn in hell and have an STD or AIDS? Hahaha, that's silly. Way to go kiddo. I'm going to be an alcoholic slut whose kids hate her? Honey, I think if anyones kids are going to hate them, it's going to be yours, you're a horrible person. I'm going to live in a trailer? Uhm, dear, look up the statistcs for sociology majors and the job they get, then look up english majors. I'm going to be making 10x more money than you are because I actually have a major that counts. I'm going to end up on Maury? Yeah, and another thing Mr. English Major; check your spelling, otherwise you will be the one that ends up in the trailer.
That's a lovely thing to start off my day with. Don't you think?
Update more later xoxo
Oh, and one more thing: I wouldn't ever take back what happened with Isaiah, because honestly; it was fucking amazing.”
I can not even begin to explain how much this response pissed me off. First of all, could someone please explain to me what the fuck her mom was doing reading her ex boyfriend’s blog? That’s just creepy. While I don’t know whether or not “he treated
Liz questions whether or not she is supposed to be upset and calls Nick a dumbass in one fell swoop. Based on her response (reposting his entry and then vigorously insulting him) I am going to say that whether or not she was supposed to be upset, she sure as fuck is. She refers to his incoherent claims of her getting an STD and being a potential alcoholic as “silly”. Truth be told, I find the first one to be within the realm of possibility as she’s kind of a slut. Sleeping with multiple partners tends to increase the chance of this very much. She then goes on to call Nick a “horrible person” though she provides no evidence backing it up, so I guess we’ll just have to take her word for it there despite the fact that she, you know, fucked someone else while they were still dating.
She then goes on a bit of a pointless tirade about how there’s no way in hell she could possibly end up living in a trailer because she is a sociology major. In fact, he has a much more likely chance what with him being an English major. It’s worth noting that they both go to Massachusetts College of Liberal Arts. Liberal Arts meaning extremely trivial majors that are all equally pretty useless unless you have some semblance of talent. Well, I hate to burst Ms. Sociology-Major’s bubble but according to this report by CNN (http://money.cnn.com/2007/
In other words, YOU HAVE ABSOLUTELY NO IDEA WHAT YOU ARE TALKING ABOUT AND ARE MAKING UP STATISTICS. I wrote that in all capitals because I feel like if she (or her mother) reads this, it gets the point across much better.
Her comebacks continue to be incredibly lame, mostly just repeating what he said in question form and she ends saying that she won’t take back what happened because it was “Amazing”. Woman, you just used the single most repeated cliché in angrily telling a guy you were cheating on them. Congratulations, you win meaningless sex with a liberal arts major!
Nick responds with a somewhat more levelheaded explanation that can be found here http://nickbournesblog.blo
On his pissed off post: “I [Nick} feel like while the two of us were dating, I had done everything and anything for her. All I wanted out of our relationship was to be happy. I trusted her, and when you trust someone to be faithful to you and love you, it will hurt if you find out they betrayed your trust, even if you have lost contact with that person, or you're done with them, like I am with Liz.”
On the actual cheating itself: “Good for her, I'm glad she enjoyed it and I hope it was worth ripping my heart out and breaking it in to a thousand pieces for a second time, because that's what learning about it has done to me. I understand that she was unhappy, but I wish that she had broken up with me first, or at least told me that she was so unhappy. After we broke up, she has tried to be friends with me and at one point, even told me that she still had feelings for me and there was even a point in which she wanted to get back together.”
He ends it somewhat eloquently with this: “I just want to say that I know how this probably sounds to people, and I just want to say that I tried to approach it as unbiasedly as possible. Again, I just want to remind you that I'm writing this down so I can express my feelings about this situation. I really don't want this to be blown completely out of proportion”
Okay, awesome. I think, if you cut around the bullshit, this is pretty legitimate. She read this and they shook hands and resolved to forgive each other for their childlike behavior and go back to their lives…
Just kidding. Five hours after writing this and after specifically asking her not to start a blog war, she responds.
“Well, like I said in my previous post, my ex wrote a 'hate blog' about me, which I kind of think he had every right to do. I'll admit right up front that I was the one that was wrong in the situation. I should've broken up with him, however, that's not the case. When I started hanging out with Isaiah again, Nick and I had got into a fight because of some traveling arrangements that were irritating and I had just had enough. My mom can vouch for what I'm about to say; I talked about breaking up with Nick for a while, but I felt guilty because of what he used to tell me when I said that I wanted to break up when we were first having some problems. He's most likely going to say that this isn't true, but he got his chance to vent it out. We were too different. I think we both know that now. He's content in his perfect bubble of a world with his three friends, and never wants to meet anyone else. I'm so far from that. I love people, hence why I switched my major to sociology. I just can't handle someone who's negative most of the time, it was taking a toll. He was a good boyfriend for the majority of our relationship, but the bad seemed to outweigh the good in my mind and the flaws I fell in love with just seemed to become more and more apparent each day. I'm sorry if I 'tore his heart out', but like I said, I don't regret it. Call that a bitch move on my part, but I would never take it back.”
She says that she should’ve broken up with him but then in the same sentence says “that’s not the case”. What? Is she saying that isn’t what happened or that she really shouldn’t have broken up with him? I’m guessing the latter but really it could go either way. She then uses her mommy as proof against Nick. What are you, 12? She then says Nick made her feel guilty but won’t say how. I can only imagine how this conversation went down…
Her: "I think we should break up."
Him: "But I don't want to break up! I love you."
Her: *ego stroked* "Heh. Yeah, I don't think we should break up either. Say something nice about me."
Please stop, woman, you’re contradicting yourself left-and-right. The flaws you fell in love with became more apparent? What the fuck does that mean? This is doing nothing for your case. Holy shit this bitch is full of herself. And she could seriously benefit from some English classes. Her writing is atrocious. Though I guess it would keep her from making any money in the future, right?
I love this line: “He's content in his perfect bubble of a world with his three friends, and never wants to meet anyone else. I'm so far from that. I love people, hence why I switched my major to sociology. I just can't handle someone who's negative most of the time, it was taking a toll.” Way to go there, slugger. Your reasoning for a major change is laughable at best. That’s like saying “I love drugs which is why I became a bio major”. Sociology is a joke major. After taking several classes in it, I have more respect for Creative Writing Majors (which is saying something as creative writing is something of a joke). And she’s putting him down for English…
Anyway, she continues:
“Now, my ex also stated that he thinks my kids will hate me. To me, that honestly pisses me off, because that just shows me that he never really knew me at all. I honestly love kids. Although I don't have children, I know for a fact that I'd be a good mom. I don't mean to brag or talk myself up, but I mean, has he ever even seen me with my niece? She's my absolute world. Granted, that it's not the same as having your own child but whenever I'm around her, I feel alive. Seeing her smile brightens up my world and I do everything to make that little girl happy. Besides, if I'm anything like my mother, I know I'll be a great mom, because with my mother and step-father guiding me, I will support my kids reguardless of what they want to do in life. I will love then unconditionally.”
Awful grammar aside, this is a retarded point. It reads like the sort of thing a fourth grader answers when asked what they want to be when they grow up. At the very best, it sounds like a half-assed graduation speech. I feel bad for her niece, being used in a petty flame war with an ex. I don’t think her mom is a particularly good role model either considering she apparently stalks the blog of her daughters ex boyfriend. Her behavior really doesn’t indicate anything positive towards her being a good guardian. She apparently drinks, does drugs and has sex with multiple people. While I have never actually met her she certainly comes off as a worthless slut. I would definitely call child services on her ass.
Here is where she goes off the deep end. I’m gonna cut this into pieces to show why this is a terrible point.
“My ex has so kindly said that I am also an 'alcoholic slut'. To me, that makes my blood boil, and I know he said most of the things to get under my skin, and it pisses me off that this one actually did.”
Actually everything he’s said to her has gotten under her skin, hence not one but TWO responses.
“First of all, how dare you say things like that when you know what I think about alcoholism. I'd like to say that someone I'm very close to is basically drinking himself into oblivion, and it fucking kills me everyday. Do you know what its like to have to watch someone you love slowly die in front of your eyes in a preventable situation?”
If its so preventable why don’t you get off your ass and do something about it? Lazy bitch… Does anyone else find it funny that she questions his daring to suggest that she has a substance abuse problem, as though that were out of line, but taking another dude's dick and rubbing it in his face is not? Let's see if the Sociology major knows the phrase "cognitive dissonance".
“Do you know what it's like to wake up every morning wondering if today is the day that they leave your life for good? Do you know what it's like to feel completely helpless but feel as though you're at fault for the bottle that's attached to their hand because you can't do anything to stop it?”
Make up your fucking mind. You say its preventable and then you say you can’t do anything to stop it. I also notice she leaves this person anonymous, but still identifies other people 'relevant' to her argument (her niece, her mother, Isaiah). Perhaps this alcoholic is fictional?
“No, I don't think you do. I've been to AA meetings to support a recovered alcoholic of over 20 years and I've heard the stories of the people that have pulled themselves out of the gutter. Stories about how alcoholism basically left them sitting in their car with the taste of a .45 in their mouth, ready to pull the trigger.”
That’s not relevant. None of those last few points are. She’s denying it so fiercely. The only reason I could see it getting under her skin is because she subconsciously knows she has a problem. Acceptance is the first step!
“How the hell in your mind could you ever think that I want to end up like that? You make me seem as though I wake up every morning and need a drink. THAT is alcoholism. When you can't function without it. I'm pretty sure that I haven't had a drop of alcohol in over a month and a half, and if I were an alcoholic I would have the delirium tremens [DT's].”
Looks like somebody just wikipedia’d DT's to sound smart. Not all alcoholics are the same. Binge drinkers for instance drink incredibly large amounts in short periods of time. This is a form of alcoholism that Ben Affleck famously suffered from. Withdrawal symptoms vary in different people as well. This is not the first time she’s gotten her statistics wrong. She really needs to shut the fuck up and stop trying to scientifically prove him wrong. Really its like killing someone and then saying “I CAN’T POSSIBLY BE THE KILLER! I WATCHED MY BEST FRIEND DIE IN A MUGGING! I KNOW ABOUT HOW MUCH PAIN MURDERING SOMEONE CAUSES THEREFORE THERE IS NO WAY I COULD POSSIBLY EVER KILL SOMEONE! I AM SMART!”
“ So please, do research if you're going to verbally bash me about a subject that I know more about than you do.”
She says after getting all her facts wrong in all three sentences prior to this one.
“Besides, I'm going to be a Drug Rehabilitation Counselor [ well, I hope to be one ] and I'm pretty sure if I wanted to be an alcoholic, I couldn't achieve my dream and not only that, I would probably not be in college anymore or failing all of my classes. I don't need alcohol OR drugs to numb myself, I wish I could say the same for you though.”
Ooooh. I see what you did there! You aren’t the alcoholic, he is! It all makes sense now. The logic is all there in your cliché ridden closing statement! Shit, that’s a pretty pathetic dream. Drug Rehabilitation Counselor; can you imagine hearing a kindergartener tell you that that is what they want to be when they grow up? This is just sad. Though to be fair, if I were as annoying and stupid as she is, I'd want to spend all my time around people more pathetic than I am, too. Or drink myself to death. It could really go either way.
So I thought this was her closing statement but I was sadly mistaken. Now she really lets it all out.
“I don't mean any of this blog to sound malicious. Honestly, I don't. I'm past that, in fact, I just got rid of people I considered to be my friends because they had of course, been bashing me. I don't need anyone's shit anymore.”
You know when multiple people are telling me I have a problem, I tend to believe that there might be something wrong. I definitely don’t just completely cut myself off from them. I guess they really weren’t your friends then if it was so easy for you to cut them off. Worst friend ever.
“ I'd like to say, what they said didn't irritate me, but it did. I don't like the fact that when I have one breakdown because of things that are piling up that half of you couldn't even fathom, I get called 'emo'. By someone who shouldn't even be talking, honestly. I don't understand it.”
ITS CALLED STRESS. ITS CALLED BEING IN COLLEGE. EVERYONE HAS TO DEAL WITH IT. NO ONE LIKES OTHER PEOPLE BITCHING TO THEM ABOUT IT. SHUT THE HELL UP. Seriously, “half of you couldn’t even fathom?” Unless Adolf Hitler rose from the dead, raped and murdered your entire family and then made you watch it on video while blasting Hey There Delilah by The Plain White T’s (happened to a friend of mine), I’m pretty sure we can “fathom” it. I love it. Fathom sounds so dramatic…
"Out of all the time that these people have known me, I have never once had a serious breakdown like the one I had the other night"
Here, she begins by complementing her own mental strength by saying that she has managed to avoid a serious breakdown for all the time “they” have known her. Because she qualifies it as a serious breakdown, we can come to the conclusions that either A) she has had many minor breakdowns, and she doesn't seem to think that speaks to her character since she, you know, regards any assumption of her falling into misfortune as "silly," or B) she has had other breakdowns of this caliber, and just redefined or ignored them. It might be worth going through her blog to see if this incident even stands out but frankly I don’t feel like torturing myself like that.
"Then I see that they're laughing at me, calling me emo?"
She complains that people are mocking her breakdown. I'm not really sure what to say to that. They might have been. I sure am. But we don't have any details on this breakdown. This confuses the everloving fuck out of me, because it seems so out of place. Her whole blog to this point has been about how she is over Nick and how she is a pillar of indomitable feminine whatever, just like all other women of dubious worth do. Despite this, she admits to a breakdown apropos of nothing. I mean, who mentioned this? Where did this come from? Was this breakdown a result of Nick's blog? If it was, then she is either A) completely in love with him, and therefore an idiot for treating him how she did, B) so in love with her own misery she'll fall into a "serious breakdown" the likes of which she has supposedly never had since knowing "these people" or C) lying and/or crazy, blowing every little bit of shit out of proportion so she can have her drama. Please note, these are not mutually exclusive.
Also bear in mind, she has not and does not specify who "these people" are. Most likely, they are acquaintances of hers who noticed her "breakdown" and, perhaps while comforting her and feeding into her narcissistic oppression fantasies, made a joke to relieve tension which to used as fuel for her own paranoid delusions. That, or these onlookers were openly hostile, ambivalent or simply lulzy peers that she made the mistake of opening up to, and they tore her a new asshole. Again, it could really go either way.
She continues:
"I know that most of them were mad at me that were doing it, but the thing is, I don't believe that because you have one fucking moment of weakness, you get verbally bashed because you can't take it anymore."
Well, yes. She is, as previously noted a dumb whore. Since she doesn't say why "they" were mad at her, I can only assume it was her fault and, as she is clearly won’t to do, she simply ignored her faults in her own mind to make her the innocent victim. Here, she is portraying herself as a further victim of "their" bullying.
Well, sometimes, one moment of weakness means exactly that. They say that the you under stress is the real you, after all. I know what she's saying, but I have no idea what she's talking about. Here she is excusing her breakdown, and further lamenting that she had to suffer for her poor behavior. I think, from context, she's referring to a binge she had, and all the references to a breakdown were to excuse her alcoholic tendencies as a one-time event. If that's the case, it could still very well be an indication of the first step towards alcoholism; turning to the bottle to solve your problems is a good sign of that.
Of course, a single time getting drunk when you're upset doesn't makes you an alcoholic, but the way she talks about alcohol does sound like someone denying their own problem. The unnamed person she "is very close to" is an alcoholic, and needs to admit to their problem and fix their lives. The writer of this blog? Nah, she's cool, no problem. She just turns to alcohol when she's upset.
“I recall majority of the time I had known this person, they would mope around the place, however, I'd mope too if I got in trouble for what they got in trouble for. It's disgusting. So you know what, I really have no problem washing my hands of it.”
Okay, she’s completely lost me at this point. Lets take a look at what is her closing paragraph (this time I’m sure of it):
“I know who I am, and what I'm about. Some of the perceptions of me have been fogged recently by the thoughts and opinions of others. I couldn't care less anymore. It irritated me at the time, but I had a lot of time to think.”
Of course, she still does care which is why she wrote this massive, incoherent pile of pig shit.
“ When you have your back against the wall and everyone attacking you, you get some time to reevaluate yourself. I've come up with the following: I'm a good person at heart. I've made some mistakes that I'm not proud of, but no one is perfect. I'm not going to live my life as the shell of the person that I was a few years ago.”
I don’t see where she’s getting this “good person at heart” thing from. I mean it’s a good thing to have a positive self image but the metaphoric picture she is painting says quite the opposite. I think it would be a better idea for her to develop a realistic self perception so that maybe she could realize just how much she sucks and possibly stop being such a bitch.
“I'd let everything get to me, but now, nothing can touch me on the level that I'm at. I'm a strong person. I've dealt with things that most of my friends wouldn't believe, and honestly, I wouldn't take any of those back. I'm a fighter, I will never back down, I will never give in, I will never relent.”
You know who else can't be touched at their level? Coke addicts. Sure you don't have a problem? And doesn’t that last part sound like something else from a graduation speech? One of those inspirational quotes that everyone says but no one really believes (or remembers 30 seconds after hearing it for that matter). I’m also reminded of that Christina Agulara song where she says basically the same thing only more poetically. You know you’re in trouble when the chick who sang Genie In A Bottle can speak better than you. Also, no. No, you're not a fighter. A fighter is someone who can fight. If you ever fought a fighter, you'd probably cry about how unfair the fight was, because they had all that fancy training and muscle and they should have taken it easy on you.
To Close she writes:
“It's me against the world, and I'm facing it with everything I have in me. I'm not afraid.”
Okay, I get it, you're persistent. I don't care. Nobody mentioned your lack of persistence. Nobody said you ever gave up (though if Nick actually felt like it, I’d be willing to bet he could make a good case for it). The closest thing on the table here is that you gave it up to someone who wasn't your boyfriend. Your accusations from Nick's post include you being a slut, an addict, and a bitch, not to mention a complete and utter dunce. Nobody has even thought to call you a quitter. Though after actually thinking about it I am pretty sure that you probably are one, so let's just come right out and say it, you're a quitter. I am calling you out on that point, because it reads more like you're trying to convince yourself than to convince anyone trolling your blog. Everything I know of you leads me to the conclusion that you're a quitter…. Quitter.
Nick, you can do better than this whore. Please stop thinking about her. Getting cheated on sucks, but this is just about the worst person in the world and we both know you can do better than her.
No comments:
Post a Comment